Home

John Edwards has written a book, "Home, The Blueprints of Our Lives". Famous and not so famous people talk about the homes they grew up in. Edwards has just built a fantastic house for his family on 100 acres. When you look out from his back patio you see grass and trees.
I grew up in a house, not a home. We never had any money and my mother didn't really know or care about how to decorate a house. We had what was necessary. There were pictures on the walls, but I couldn't tell you what they were. We did have one thing that I thought was beautiful. I still have it. It is a 1950s floor lamp. I think someone gave it to my parents as a gift.
A lot of our furniture was handed down from relatives. My uncle gave us a waterfall dresser that I wish I still had. I was a teenager at that time and didn't fully appreciate its value. I thought it was nice, though. My sister and I shared a room and our twin beds were also handed down from relatives. Our house was not warm. It was not cozy. It was shelter.
When I was getting divorced and was in counseling, my therapist said that it is important to make our home our own. I needed to surround myself with things that make me happy and that have meaning to me. When I sold my house and moved into an apartment, I got rid of almost everything. I bought new furniture, a new dining room table, a new entertainment center, and a large print of a violin that hangs in my bedroom. I found black and white prints of a scene from Casablanca (the airport scene), from The Wizard of Oz (Dorothy and Glenda in Munchkinland), and one of Mae West just being Mae West. I had them framed and they hang in my living room. I have a three shelf bookcase that I have had since I had my first apartment as a 21 year old. It was unfinished when I bought it and I remember staining and polishing it. I love its simplicity. Books are treasures to me and the bookcase is filled with books I love. I also have a roll top desk that is all wood. I love it. I have my grandmother's dresser in my bedroom. It is beautifully simple. My bed does not have a headboard. I looked all over for a particular old style headboard and never found it. I ran out of disposable income and I don't want to settle for anything but the one I have in my head.
I know that growing up in the house I grew up in, with the family I had, has affected me in a lot of negative ways. I have spent my life making mistakes and suffering the consequences of growing up in a family where neither parent had any idea how to raise kids. My parents did what they knew how to do and unfortunately, it wasn't very nurturing. We survived. I hated growing up in my house and family. I have spent my adult life trying to overcome my childhood. Sometimes, I think I'll succeed.