Memories

I've been watching the "Yearbook" marathon today. That has put me in a nostalgic mood. I've been thinking about where I was and what my life was like during the featured year. When the 80s are mentioned, I think of my marriage and my kids. I got married in 1980. My daughters were born in 1981 and 1984. The marriage finally ended in 1990. Getting married was a big mistake. My ex would still be married to me, if he had his druthers. I am grateful that I had two wonderful children, despite the marriage being a losing proposition. To be fair, it was my fault we got married. I mean, I could have said no. But, I was at a very bad place at the time and unbeknownst to me, I was getting married in an attempt to gain the approval of my grandmother. She was no longer alive, but apparently, that didn't matter. At least, that's what a therapist told me once. I have been lost since very early on. I still don't know where or what I am meant to be. Once my children were born, I made raising them my mission. They are women now. My task is complete. I think about what the rest of my life will be. I don't have answers.