I wonder...

if I am finally ready to move on. About 12 years ago, I met someone, fell madly in love, and then the relationship ended abruptly. I quit smoking, too. I gained about 15 pounds in 5 months. I started dieting to lose it. I don't need to tell you what happened after that. I lost weight, went back to eating normally, gained back the weight plus another 4 or 5 pounds and repeated the whole process again. I did that again and again until I had gained about 40 pounds. I won't diet any more. I tried exercising to lose weight. That didn't work. My muscles got toned, but my size and shape remained the same. I gave up on exercising. So yesterday, I decided I will exercise every day. I have been eating pretty healthy for the past two years. I did a walking video yesterday and a 10 minute body toning video today. I like that one. I have a very short attention span when it comes to exercise. I get bored before I finish whatever workout it is. These 10 minute ones, I can do. So, I was just reading and all of the sudden I wondered if I am finally over what happened when that relationship ended. Is that why I suddenly feel like exercising? And was I unable to lose weight in order to keep myself from being in a position to meet someone new and risk loss like that again? I would like to move on.